Writing through it all

Keeping connected to writing despite, and because of, everything else

This is where I dream of writing:

That even used to be my go-to pen!

And this is where I wrote this:

As good as any place to launch a newsletter, right?

Hi, I’m Kat. I’m a writer and I’m sick in every sense of the word. (Especially the 90s skater sense.)

I’ve always had chronic illness, but two months ago I had a sudden collapse, and now I live out of a bed and (when I’m lucky) a wheelchair. In all this, I’ve worked hard to keep connected to my writing life. Writing grounds me, reminds me there’s more to life than EKGs and disability applications and dishes you just can’t do.

Now, I am by no means saying you too have to write from a hospital, or that writing is a #NoExcuses game and winners never quit. You’re not a shark: sometimes the best thing you can do is stop and rest. What I’m saying that if you feel it’s important and possible to keep writing in your life, despite it all: it’s ok to lean into that. Feel it out. Get some support, accountability, assistive technology—whatever you can get your hands on to get the words out, before you explode in a shower of frustrated creativity.

Like this, but with more tears.

It’s a constant process requiring truckloads of patience and flexibility. Which, if you’ve ever met me, you know are categorically not my things. But there are ways, if you’re sneaky and clever, if you’re willing to try something new even though it may be terrifying.

Right now, this looks like holding a monthly accountability meetup where a group of writers and I share victories, trade advice, and set goals. Some months, all I commit to is journalling, or revisiting a single poem. And it’s been an absolute beacon of sanity. The gap between being able to do something (anything!), instead of nothing, is immeasurable.

I also have a casual weekly check-in with a writing friend who’s also going through it. It’s meant to be a quick call. Sometimes we cancel, and sometimes we roll on for two hours without noticing. Sometimes we just text each other our goals. Sometimes we talk about how hard it all is, while her cat meows to inform us of how his life is the hardest of them all.

But every time I connect with other writers who get it, even briefly, I leave feeling seen, encouraged, and motivated. Not the trash kind of motivation that uses fear to push you into something: there’s love, there. And isn’t that what writing is all about? Connection in struggle. The puzzle of how to create something new.

Pets who lack any sense of perspective.

With you in the swamp,

Kat

Photo credits: desk by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash, fireworks by Elisha Terada on Unsplash, beloved housecat by K.S. Palakovic (me)